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I love my children dearly. Honestly, I really do. They are the lights of my life, and have brought over twenty two years of unimaginable joy and delight to the lives of my husband and I.

Although I was wistful, and confess to being a bit teary eyed when the youngest left the nest, there are a few things that we definitely will NOT miss. Among them;

I will not miss sky high heating bills because Son turns up the thermostat by five degrees when it’s below zero outside, and he’s wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

I will not miss Daughter’s twice daily showers that each lasts a minimum of twenty minutes, simply because she wants her hair to look good and this in spite of the fact that David Suzuki is her hero, she recycles everything and the environment her cause celebre.

I will not miss having them drink milk straight from the container, and finding no milk for my tea.

I will not miss Sky high grocery bills for food that would feed an army yet constantly hearing “there’s nothing good to eat”.

I will not miss cleaning the kitchen before I leave for work in order to ensure a clean work space upon my return, only to find a detritus of debris left in the wake of Son and Daughter’s foraging.

I will not miss having them wash one pair of jeans on the “full load” cycle.

I will not miss having my sock drawer raided.

I will not miss looking for my perfect earrings and discovering them on Daughter’s ears.

I will not miss driving all over hell’s half acre for the perfect video game, in the middle of a snowstorm.

I will not miss being awakened in the middle of the night by Son rummaging in the kitchen in search of a nocturnal snack.

I will not miss tripping over shoes, boots and backpacks at the entrance to the house.

I will not miss wet towels on the bathroom floor.

I will not miss strangers in the living room at 8 o’clock on a Sunday morning. Granted, driving home under the influence is not to be tolerated, so it beats the alternative, but still, it’s nice to have our privacy back.

I will not miss having to be quiet because the offspring are still asleep, at 1 o’clock in the afternoon.

I definitely will not miss Head Banging Music

I really won’t miss computer war and role playing games with the sound turned up so loud you’d swear you were living in a war zone yourself.

I will not miss laundry that reproduces unchecked

I will not miss being called “parental unit”

I won’t miss hearing “what’s for dinner?” the minute I walk through the door after work.

I won’t miss Last minute trips to the mall for last minute birthday parties

Having said all that, I really do miss them. I miss the dinner discussions, the laughter, and the fun times we had together. I’m looking forward to Christmas when they’ll both be home.

This article was written by a Shawn Wilson, a member of the customer support team at Datepad, where internet dating is always free. http://www.datepad.com, a free internet dating site.

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